Monday, September 2, 2013

Love is Universal



This weekend I had a special moment with my host mom that I thought deserved its own post. Like I said, I have been in country now for three weeks and have been in close contact with my family through email but have yet to speak to anyone on the phone. Three weeks without hearing any familiar voices sure is a long time! On Saturday, I was able to face time with my mom, dad, Carrie and Em. It was so great seeing their faces! Even though our connection was horrible and they only heard every twentieth syllable (numbers courtesy of dad) it meant so much to me to see them all crowded around my dad’s iphone (still a surprise and newsflash-mom also joined team iphone). Emree has gotten even cuter but was also confused about where I was and kept reaching for the phone. 


Later that night, after I walked home, my host mom and I were sitting on the porch. I knew she could tell I was sad so I explained to her – in broken Setswana and through tears – that I was really missing my family and that it is hard to be so far away. I went into my room and got a photo album of pictures I have here with me and shared them with her. She looked through every picture three separate times, asking questions about my loved ones.  Following a series of candid pictures of Emree and I, she said “You love her too much.” I know she didn’t mean too much but so much by the way she said it. After she was finished with the rest of the pictures, she set the photo album down, looked at me and said “My ngwana (my daughter), they miss you too.” It was such a simple statement but so comforting to me. She put her hand on my arm, got up and made me a cup of tea. And just like that, my tears were dry and I went to sleep excited for the next time I get to see my family and so thankful to have them in my life, even if they are 8,000 miles away.

Three Weeks in Country

Happy Labor Day!  Take the time today to enjoy your day off, grill out and crack open a few cold ones for me! PC (Peace Corps. Trying to get you all used to the abbreviations as we often times speak in fluently in abbrevs). Anyway, PC is honoring the US holiday for us volunteers and taking us on our first game park adventure to a Rhino Reserve. It is like a mini-safari and we are expecting to see a lot of wildlife. I promise to take pictures. On that note, the only reason I haven't uploaded more pictures is because I am having a hard time connecting my laptop to the internet and that is where all my pictures currently live. I am taking them though and will get them up here eventually.

I have been in country for three weeks now and time is moving much more quickly as I get used to my new routine, home, family, and being away from home. We are 1/4 of the way through PST (Pre-Service Training) and getting into much heartier and more applicable material which makes me one excited girl! Last week, we had a woman who is HIV positive come and speak with us about the stigma that surrounds HIV in Botswana. She explained to us that men here prefer not to be tested for HIV and that instead, they test through their women, meaning that if someone they have slept with is HIV positive, that is how they know they are too. The gender dynamic here is a tough thing to get used to. Men expect women to do everything for them and show little gratitude. Additionally, in my village, it is predominantly women and children, the men are simply not around. No one really has an explanation for this either. It is also standard that if a man buys a woman a drink at a bar, she is expected to sleep with him. I never considered myself much of a feminist stateside, but here, in the words of my sister Katie, my feminist blood boils! For now, my plan is simply to lead by example to other women in regards to empowerment and how they should expect to be treated.

The next few weeks are going to be an exciting time for us! On Thursday, I get to go observe at a school similar to the one in which I will be working. I am really excited to start more focused work. On Friday, we get to visit a diamond mine which is the number one driver for Botswana's economy.  Very few people are granted access to this specific mine and we are honored to be invited. The following week, we get to travel to another village to shadow a current volunteer who works in the same program as we do. I am really excited for this because it will give me a good idea of what my day-to-day life will be like come October as well as give me a chance to see another part of Botswana. I know time will move quickly and before we know it, it'll be September 19th which is SITE ANNOUNCEMENT! I can't wait to learn where I will be living for the next two years. As of now, my primary concern is not that I have running water or electricity at site but that I will be close enough to other volunteers to travel to see them on the weekends. No two volunteers will be in the same village so isolation is a huge concern of mine.

Pictures will come soon, I miss you all and still would love to hear from you!


Sunday, August 25, 2013

Bucket Baths and Living Simple

Hello world!

I am alive and well and apologize for my lack of posts. Life has been hectic and overwhelming and wonderful and simple and challenging all in the same breath. I will do my best to fill you in. From here on out, internet access will be easier to come by so I hope I will be able to post and share more with those of you who are interested.

I have been with my host family for a week and a half now. At the matching ceremony, my mother greeted me with a loud native sound made with the tongue and some crazy dance moves - including a move that looked as if she was churning butter. She greeted me with open arms and nothing has changed since. She gave me my Setswana name - Mpho (pronounced mm-po) - and has been continuously gracious and loving. She speaks little English but we get by. When we combine her minimal English and the little bit of Setswana I have mastered, we can communicate in a surprisingly effective manner. It is just my mother and I in my house. My mother has taught me so much already. I take bucket baths twice a day and bathe when she tells me to and wash what she tells me to. She has taught me how to cook Botswana food which consists of a lot of starch, meat and cabbage. Last weekend, she told me to come outside with her. I followed her out with a bowl of meat - bone and all. She dropped it in a hollow tree trunk, ground it up with a wooden pole, scooped it out and served it to me. The taste of the meat was not bad but the grit and the bone and the dirt was hard for me to get past.  Today, I learned to wash my clothes by hand. Life here is much simpler. The days stretch on and on, especially on the weekends when there is little to do. Every day gets a little bit easier, but I find myself missing home and the States constantly.

In addition to my host mother, my host niece, who is 22 years old spends a lot of time at the house with her two kids - Nailo, who turned two yesterday, and Kailo who is ten months old. It is fun to have kids in the house but also make me miss sweet Emree more than I did before - if possible. My niece speaks perfect English and we have had many conversations surrounding our respective cultures. Even though she is my niece, she feels more like a sister.

As I said before, the days stretch on here. I wake up at 6:00 to get my water ready for my bath. I eat breakfast then walk 45 minutes to school. We spend 9 hours a day in the classroom and then walk 45 minutes home. When I get home, I go over my Setswana with my mom, eat dinner and by that point am ready for bed. It has been a difficult transition as the support system that has always been my solid foundation is not as easily accessible. I find myself reverting to my inner-nerd and seeking comfort in reading. My favorite thing to read are emails from home! Please write! Hearing from home makes me feel as though I am still connected to the people I miss so dearly.

I hope this blog post is not too dreary. Life here is good and the people of Botswana continue to welcome us, greeting us on the streets, asking us what we are here for. We were even on national news! I am incredibly blessed to have been placed in the home I am in - my mother tells me continuously to live here as if I was in my own mother's home. She calls me "my daughter" and hugs me everyday when I get home. It is nice to learn to appreciate the simple things. Like I said, every day gets better and better and I feel more and more at home in a place that is so foreign. One of the things I told myself as I prepared to move is "You can't grow without change" and I continue to remind myself of that everyday!

Tomorrow, I will post more about the exciting, positive things along with some pictures. Missing you all, every day!

Monday, August 12, 2013

So Long, For Now

The countdown has ran out and my journey has begun! The last two days have been quite a whirlwind, I arrived in Philadelphia yesterday morning for staging and met all 65 volunteers that I will be working alongside for the next two years. We spent seven hours in seminar yesterday which was quite a struggle considering I still haven't slept since Friday. I am currently sitting in JFK Airport (fitting, considering he founded Peace Corps himself) waiting for our flight to Johannesburg, South Africa and from there to Gaborone, Botswana, arriving Tuesday afternoon. Upon our arrival, we get to spend two days in a lodge together with hopes of recovering from some severe jet lag. Bring it on! After that, we will be bused to Serowe, Botswana where we will take part in a host-family matching ceremony, and leave from there to live with our host family for the next 10.5 weeks! After that, we will be placed at our permanent site. From now until October 15, my address is:

Sarah Pagenstecher, Peace Corps Trainee
c/o Peace Corps Botswana
Private Bag 00243
Gaborone, Botswana

Please write me, send me pictures and keep me posted on your lives stateside. I have heard from many Peace Corps Volunteers that letters and packages from home are what keep you going throughout your service. Being homesick is my greatest anxiety about my service.  

As I write this blog, I am humbled by the outpouring of love and support I have received from both family and friends over the past few weeks. I cannot adequately express how much that means to me and how much strength I draw from you all. At the same time, it makes the act of leaving incredibly difficult. Saying goodbye to my family at the airport was, in a word, brutal. I can't even begin to imagine the ways and levels in which I will miss them. Mom, Dad, Katie, Carrie, Brian, and Josh - your support is invaluable. Thank you for everything you all did to help me prepare for this very moment. I will be thinking of you every single step of the way. Saying goodbye to Emree broke my heart. It is hard to believe she will be three years old when I return and the thought of missing all of her milestones is perhaps the biggest sacrifice I am making. Luckily, I trust that Carrie will send me videos and pictures and I will Skype them as much as possible.

Despite the sadness that overcame me yesterday, today I feel an overriding feeling of excitement! I am sitting among 65 individuals who already feel like friends and I imagine soon will feel like family. It has been great to finally put faces to the names of those I have been talking to for months and to have people to talk to that are feeling exactly what I am feeling right now. As I am about to board I ask that you all keep in touch and don't forget about me. When hard days strike (as I am confident they will) push me. Remind me that this has been a dream of mine for a while now. I am counting on you all!

I'm not sure when I will have internet next but will update as soon as I can.

All my love,

Sarah

Monday, July 15, 2013

Greetings - Preparations for a Cross-Continental Move!

Welcome to my page! I'm assuming most of you reading this are already well aware of my upcoming journey and what it entails - to some extent - as it is what has consumed my life and thoughts since getting my invitation in April. Just in case that's not the case, here is a brief breakdown: 

On August 12th, I will be departing for Botswana, Africa with 67 other volunteers from the United States. Botswana is located directly above South Africa and is relatively developed as far as Africa goes. It does, however, have the second highest population in the world infected with HIV/AIDS. As far as my studies have gone, normally, when development goes up, spread of infectious disease goes down, however, there is a definite disconnect in Botswana. It is my hope that this team of dynamic individuals departing for Botswana can work to bridge that gap. Upon our arrival, we will complete 10.5 weeks of in-country training. At this point, we will be living with separate host families in order to immerse ourselves into the culture of Botswana and better understand social norms. After the training is complete, we will be assessed and subsequently placed at our individual site. We will have our own homes and it is at this point that our two years of service begins. What a journey we are all in for! 

As I prepare for this move, it is quite difficult to put into words what I am feeling. I have moments of overwhelming excitement about what lies ahead – the unknown, the complete life transformation I will undergo, and the people I will meet and come to love along the way. On the other hand, I am overcome with moments of sadness at what and who I am leaving behind and the things I know I will miss stateside while serving abroad.


The main goal I have as my departure nears is to keep an open mind. I am trying my best to hold little expectations of what Peace Corps Service will mean to me. I remind myself daily that I will struggle and that I will be homesick. But I also remember how excited I am about the work I will be doing and the change I intend on bringing along with my service. One thing I am confident in through all of this CRAZY CHAOS I feel right now is that I have made the best and most fit choice in accepting my Peace Corps Invitation. So, for now, I sign off. If you are reading this, I love you and you have touched my life in some way. I hope you will follow me in my adventure and support me along the way.